The Ends: 0 The Means: -1

I was in Copley Square late this afternoon and saw one of those sidewalk fundraising people, and unfortunately I wasn’t wearing my iPod (which works wonderfully in these situations) and didn’t give him a wide enough berth. I hate having to dodge these people, as most are probably legit, but I can’t give to everyone and even when I do give I’d rather do it in a way that doesn’t involve giving a stranger on the sidewalk my credit card number.

So I told the guy that he could tell me about his organization, but that I couldn’t give him any money at the moment. An upfront and honest approach, but all this means to the guy is that he has more of a chance with me than the last 50 people who just blew him off. And of course the longer he went on, the guiltier I felt, especially when I suspected that he got a bonus for everyone he signs up. (I verified this. Also, without going into details, I’m inclined to believe that he really was working for DialogueDirect raising money for Save the Children, based on what I saw at the time and from research I just did).

So finally I said, “Listen, I don’t want to sponsor a child without thinking about it, because if you send me a picture of a kid, that’s it, there’s no way I could cancel.” (which made me realize how brilliant the whole sponsor-a-kid with a monthly donation thing is. I mean, who wants to un-sponsor a kid?) But I asked if I could just make a straight donation. Sure, says he. Paperwork comes out. Name, address and birthdate- Done! Credit card number- Done! (with a sick feeling that I’m going to regret it) Great, he says, now I just need you to initial this box saying you’re over 21. Done! And these two boxes that just say that you support the organization. Do-.. waaaait a minute..

That’s not what they said. What they said in small print was:

I intend on supporting Save the Children with my regular gift for at least two years.

and

I have received a disclosure letter and understand that this is not a one-time gift.

Looking back at the form, I realized that I was authorizing them to deduct from my credit card every month what I thought was a one-time donation. I didn’t sign, said I’d really need to think about it. He claims that there’s a number I can call to cancel. So basically he’s getting a bonus based on his bringing in two year’s worth of funding, and encouraging me to cancel after a month. Either the organization is getting screwed, or I am. And how can I believe him on the canceling thing, when he almost tricked me into donating far more than I intended? He’s pushing forward, trying to close the deal, I’m trying to read the fine print to see if there’s an escape clause and feeling this rising panic. I finally told him I couldn’t do it, he put a big X on my form saying that invalidated it, I asked for the bottom copy and he seemed reluctant but finally gave it to me. I left and then realized I should have asked for all the copies, since he still has my address and credit card number. I do think this guy was legit and just misguided, but to be on the safe side I called and asked for a new credit card when I got home. Fortunately it was easy to do this, and this credit card isn’t tied to too many online accounts.

So, if we’re keeping score, the guy gets no bonus, I feel guilty and am inconvenienced (and hopefully not anything worse), and “the children” get nothing. Moral of the story, donate online or at fundraising events, and when you see sidewalk people, put in your iPod and DO NOT make eye contact. Sigh.

Movie review: Knocked Up

Bottom Line: Laugh out loud funny. The same crude yet sweet sensibility found in “40 year old virgin.” Recommended.

BUT.. the recommendation does come with reservations. [spoiler warning for the remainder of the review]. The portrayal of male/female relations, and of women and men in general, is just grim. In the world of this movie, men are incapable of evolving beyond a sex and drug obsessed adolescent mentality, and women are demanding, humorless shrews, whose duty it is to rip men away from their carefree boyhood and trap them in the stifling sameness of family life. The “sweet” sensibility I mentioned earlier is applied only to the men, who at least come off as funny and fairly loveable. The women aren’t so lucky. The lead is at least likeable for a while, until the pregnancy starts to kick in and it becomes clear that the responsibilities of family life are going to turn her into a harpy just like her sister. The sister is unbearable, and is part of the “counterpoint” marriage that the lead characters watch with apprehension as they wonder if this will be their fate. The sister and her husband got married under similar circumstances as the lead characters (accidental pregnancy), and are doing their best to make it work for the kids, but the movie makes it clear that for the most part every day is sheer hell for them.

The one sympathetic moment for the women comes when they try to have a girls’ night out on the town, and find they can’t even get admitted to a bar because they are too old and too pregnant respectively. No wonder women are forced to entrap men, when their market value is so quickly lost!

Now, I know movies are under no obligation to portray women or anyone else in a positive light. And I do know women who are just as unpleasant as the ones in this movie, and that the “shrew” stereotype is a common one. It’s just that although I laughed a TON at this movie, I left feeling sort of weird, wondering what I had just laughed at. Interestingly, the one thing that bothered me about “40 Year Old Virgin” (made by the same director/writer) was a similar issue. In order to finally lose his virginity, the lead character had to not only find a woman to sleep with, but he had to abandon his boyish loves, in this case an impressive collection of action figures and other toys. I thought for sure that he was going to find someone who loved him AND his toys, but no. He had to “grow up.” This was a very minor point in the movie, but it’s interesting that this idea is carried forward more forcefully into the director’s next film. Kinda makes me wonder where this guy is coming from.

So, um, bottom line, like I said, funny as hell. Just don't think too much about it.